Thursday, November 18, 2010

Apperantly Seaking Has Feelings...Who Knew?

Talked to Staci, and this is how it went. She says she still has feelings for me too, but doesn't think we should date right now. She still wants to hang out with me though, and we're hanging out friday.
Better than being completley shut down right?

Hai guys, I do ever so miss you. I figured since I am next to never on TC anymore to annoy you with my drama, I'd write in the blog about it.

So, to keep a long story short. I miss Staci (the ginger I dated that looks like La Roux) and I believe i made a horrible mistake in dumping her. I'm crying right now actually. I'm thinking about telling her I miss her and that I'm an idiot. I know it's not likely she'd take me back, but I'm hoping.

Inb4 seaking is making a huge mistake


  1. You don't miss her, you're just lonely.

    We love you!

  2. miss u dont be down!! relationships always suck!

  3. Seaking, You can find better. If there was anything you didnt like then she's not the one. You need to find someone that in dating ALWAYS makes you happy and you to them, there should be no dumb fights, Dating is supposed to be fun, as soon as there is drama, especially under a year, its not going to work.

  4. Talking to her tonight on teh telephone, I'll let YMB know how it goes

  5. go for it
    but don't go too fast ;D

  6. Well since im not a contributor, ill just post it here.. and hope it gets read... lol

    just trying to figure shit out..
    the guy that was in my profile pic, is 'straight', the one ive had caps of me and him in TC..
    but at my bday party, i was all over him, sucked icing off his finger.. at the bar saturday he made me grind him, and then he leaned over and said i could grab his ass if I wanted
    so hes bi at the least but wont admit it
    but the complicated part is that he likes candice
    and she wont admit it.. and has been lying to me about it
    like he was grinding her and paying equal attn to candice as me, and i said to her that i think he likes her
    she said no.. but yesterday fate just kinda lucked out, or someone looking out for me made it happen the way it did
    but these 2 guys were over at candices, stole her phone and dropped it off at her work.. and i was going to go see her anyway, so i picked it up for her on the way to her house
    and i looked at who all the missed msgs were from. and top one was brendan saying hey cutie, so i read their previous convos and such, where both said they liked the other, and have been texting lots..
    and then i saw a msg from candice asking him if he said i could grab his ass, which he denied to her.. and i comfronted her about it later that night telling her i had read the convos..
    and shes like i dont like him, i just said that.. meanwhile they were texting like all day yesterday, but she was being discreet about it.. so im kinda upset my bestfriend is lying about liking the same guy as me...
    where she should just be honest about it.. like if we were 2 girls and this was going on and she was lying behind my back, the friendship wud be in trouble. like I understand if she likes him too, she doesnt have to spare my feelings, i understand.. but im gunna have to be the one to step back from him because shes being secretive
    and if anything else happens with him, i cant tell her, cuz she might relay that im talking about him back to him... :/ soooo yea, kinda confused and generally aren’t sure wht to do :/

  7. cujo, mail xitij to become a contributor :p

  8. While i was working last night I got a few msgs from him. Just like “I saw a guy in a zehrs with a helmet” and “hows ur day going?” and i was just like okay? And fine,, then i was like u? And he said good and i said okay, and btw we need to talk.. He was like okay why? And i was just like Reasons. He was like “im sure i can guess, u can just be straight with me”, i was like you can guess but its not something i really want to do through text, then he said Fair enough but im not trying to start anything.. So i was like,” its not even really about you and Candice, its not even you, its me.” The he was all “sorry but im just a certain way” and i was like you’re apologizing and u don’t even know whats up yet? And then again he says he can guess. So i sent 4 msgs.. basically like
    The reason i haven’t asked you about the Land mine is because of the group that you said knew. I don’t think i can be part of the group.. I cant really be your friend because i like you too much, and with the you and Candice thing it doesn’t bother me that u like each other, just that Candice lied to me about you liking her, but in past experiences its just too hard for me to be friends with a ‘straight’ guy that i like.
    So he was like i still want to be ur friend cuz otherwise it wud kill me, ur a great guy. And i was just like, its too hard and such, he apologized again (don’t know why) then hes like “Im just not gay but there is someone i can make happy if i had your blessing” So i told him That if he’s tlaking about Candice that’s up to her not me. So i told him its a lot harder because of how open he was, and he’s like “too open?” so im like when i was at the bar and you make me grind you and then lean over and tell me i can grab your ass just makes it a lot harder for me cuz i would want more, and thats why i chose not to grab your ass..
    So hes like well im sorry im too open, i replied stop apologizing cause i feel bad enough as it is, then he said ‘man ur a great guy, im just not gay’..I replied “just give me time, im sure we can stay friends and such but i just need a bit of time away cuz im just driving myself insane”.. then about an hour went by.. and i got the msg that made me feel worse even tho it was trying to make me feel better?
    “You need to be chill being gay must be tough and no one can understand but you. I have been in the reverse i have been in the gay bar and u see someone and u know it just isn’t happening”
    So i took some time venting to Candice about that msg and finally replied with “I see guys that i know nothing is going to happen with all the time.. But it’s different when it’s with a friend that i get feelings for”
    He’s like I don’t understand how u have feelings for me, so i said that we’ve known each other the same amount of time as u and Candice and u like her, And i like you, you’re not a dick, u care about me, nice, considerate.
    He replied with a he tries but its hard for him to understand. So I said: “i know its hrd to understand, its like watching a girl you’re crushing on with other guys all the time, and as hard as it is to understand its even harder to deal with.. like Candice and her friends are like my only social life and I haven’t really been out that long so the thing is still new to me and i just don’t know how to deal with things properly yet.. So i just do what i know and run”. He was like “I dunno and i feel bad i like her but shes like that girl ive been waiting for and she actually treats me right” which i said ‘ it would be if u watched Candice and me at the bar with her all over a bunch of other guys and not you, it wud make it harder to be her friend cuz u wud always be jealous ‘ and he replied “I suppose i dunno if u knew what the last few months have been like for me, u may see my point more” and i was just like “Maybe. I just feel like an idiot right now. Like complete shit. Sad, lonely, tired.. Not really in a talking mood so perhaps we’ll talk later.” And he replied “Ok well feel better you’re a great guy, you deserve better than this”

  9. So that was me and Brendan...

    as for candice and I, as the texting started and he said he didnt want to start shit, i went over and talked to her at cold deli, since i was still at work, and shes just like "you understand why i didnt tell you right" and i was just like in a way yes, but you can be honest. like if something would have happened with you 2 later i wud feel more stupid and be like both of them were going behind my back about it. she was like "nothing would have happened, i cuddnt do that to you or meg" im like, its okay that u like him and if u want to go for him u can, its up to you, i would just like that you be honest about it considering every detail that happened with him and I, I told to you.

    she said basically that she doesnt think she actually likes him, just wants to like replace jeremy cuz she wants the companionship.. but basically things are good there.